Hi there! Sorry about that little absence but one of the things I decided when I decided I was doing something akin to writing again was that while I had in my head an general amount I wanted to write in a week I wasn’t going to be upset if I wasn’t getting that done. And while I want to do Self Portrait Sunday if I get through a year with only 15 pictures, well that is more than I did in 2008.
So it was fairly easy for me to let go of writing when the latter half of January got busy and then some tweaking made it where writing at work wasn’t sensible. To explain, I wrote a lot at work over the past year. Although almost all of it was written and never published or saved. I did it when performing a regular activity that would tie up most of the tools used for my job for 30-40 minutes. I wrote then. However, with some changes this same thing takes about 10 minutes. It has been hard to put a thought together. And, as you can imagine because everyone’s life is a bit like this, even when I am home having a “relaxing night” I am usually doing stuff. I will admit when my depression/anxiety is at it’s peak I find it really hard to write anything I want my husband to read (which is my new standard for what I will publish).
So yeah, Hi there! Now I begin actual writing and I won’t actually be referring to long absences again in the future.
Thomas is, as I suspect lots of fairly intelligent 8 year old boys are, interesting to talk to at times. He also, as I suspect more 8 year old boys are, growing up in a way that is a bit boggling to his parents. About a year ago there was the incident I have referred to as The Playboy incident. Tom has a stash from his college days and beyond. And yes, I really do read them for the articles. Anyhow, one thing you notice after you have a baby for a few months is they aren’t really as smart as people make them out to be in utero. I remember Thomas as a newborn, and juding from his general intelligence today I suspect he was at the very least on the low end of normal for a newborn and there was not a thing he did in the world short of crying that seemed like he purposely did it. Everything seemed a bit based on reflex (for example, even eating seemed to be a reflex of something warm and soft being placed in his mouth since he attempted to latch on to Tom’s arm/belly/nipple/nose more than once in infancy. Even crying sometimes seemed to be something he had no control of. He would look at me with a look like he was saying “When the Hell is anyone going to shut that damn baby up?” Clearly oblivious that it was he who had been bellowing for an hour. It explains the general lack of sleep we had in our house.
So about the time we realized that babies are relatively stupid when you compare them to full grown adults who can hold down jobs (usually…this isn’t always the case) we realized that until he could think “Wow thats something I want!” he would never make the move for it. Which is precisely while the very interesting reading and looking magazines sat in the floor in our back bedroom/office area for 8 solid years since we moved into this house. Tom and I knew a 2 year old would never go back there and think “Wow, naked women! This is a motherlode!” And if he did it wouldn’t mean a conversation would need to happen.
However, (and this is the difference between me, and say a quality parent) my son is now 8. And apparently a stack of magazines is no longer interesting for the political and scientific commentary but rather for the BOOBIES. Tom first thought the cat was messing with his stack o’ nekkid. I pointed out however, that cats are not usually laying under a desk with several magazines spread to the centerfold. So I decided I was approach Thomas and just see. I asked him pretty calmly had he been in the office looking at stuff and he said no. The thing is Thomas can’t lie. At all. So I believed him. And dropped it. 30 seconds later he was crying about how he wouldn’t do it again…I attempt to have a conversation with him about it but he gets embarassed and I left it with, don’t do it again, but it was normal and he wasn’t in trouble. Tom moved the magazines and all is good.
Except it wasn’t. This started the road to the occasional question and more importantly the time I felt like we needed to just explain sex to him and be done with it. But we couldn’t because we are lame. Instead TV presented the perfect opportunity with Nat Geo’s Kittens/Puppies In the Womb. We watched the Puppies first and then Kittens and it occured to me. We are mammals! I can explain it this way and just tell him to ask if he has any questions. So i did, in the middle of the show.
Although here is the important part, I was actually not really watching the show. I was reading and overheard it. So Tom had to point out that of many things that were “how all mammals have babies” humans didn’t have penis barbs. So once Tom cleaned my little mess up all ways good.
Except last week I realized clearly there is more missing that we let on. We are going to Mexico over Spring Break and my parent’s are watching our (male) dog. They also have a (male) dog. We had been talking on the ride home about the logistic drop off. Thomas piped up from the backseat of the car “What will happen if they gay it out and have puppies?”
(PS We talked to him about the fact gay it out maybe doesn’t sound nice. But I suspect it was the only way he knew how to explain to male dogs having sex)
My mother is a retired nurse and I grew up in a house where sex, bodies and life were discussed openly regardless of age. To our mother, it is all a part of medicine. Thus my brother and I were not overly curious as teenagers and practiced safe sex in committed relationships much later in our adult lives. I have always answered my son’s questions openly and honestly. But we all have to find our own way.
Hello from a fellow redhead.
Catherine