Thomas was in 2nd grade when he came home one day and announced he was Buddhist.  I, being of unknown religious beliefs, looked at him incredulously.  I always assumed one day he would question the non-religion but faith can be good sort of attitude we had at home, but like most Americans, especially the ones in Memphis, I always assumed it would be Christianity I would be discussing with him.  And the be fair Thomas is also interested in Christianity, but has had some philosophical difference from apparently the time he was 6.  I bought him some books, we started googling and that was where my really big support ended.  That isn’t for the record where Thomas’s beliefs ended.  He read, and read, and read and meditated.  He meditated before tests, he meditated at bedtime, he meditated during the moment of silence in the morning.

He announced to everyone he was Buddhist and then we began to experience fallout.  Some of it I dealt with by simply saying “It upsets person X when you bring it up.  I don’t want you to lie, but if you don’t need to talk about it, don’t”  Other times I simply pushed back on people.  Thomas goes to public school.  At no point in his life should he be subjected to being told he is going to hell (which happened last year, including one time as part of a school assignment).  I have encouraged him to be who he is.  I have told him that sometimes, especially family, has a hard time when we depart from the expected and yet also told him he shouldn’t need to be a secretly practicing Buddhist.

But I have to be honest, as well read as he was, as much as he understood, I always believed this was a phase.  I no longer believe that.  We bought a small statue of Buddha last year (which was really Budai, but hey I was a dumb Westerner).  And I knew he had pulled it out a few times to use to meditate.  However, this summer while we were in China we went to the Lingyin Temple and he had the chance to see a real Buddhist temple and pray and just have regular exposure to other Buddhists I knew, this was his faith he found on his own terms.

I took Thomas to the National Civil Rights Museum International Freedom Award ceremony today where His Holiness The Dalai Lama was honored.  While we were waiting I noticed that Thomas Dyer was there.  His is the first Army Chaplain who is a Buddhist.  I was particularly drawn to him because I knew it would be good to juxtapose the difficulties Mr. Dyer experiences in his practice and Thomas experiences in his practice.  I walked over and introduced myself and Thomas and we chatted for a few minutes.

One of the things that gets said about us a lot (even though I don’t put a ton of stock into it) is that we are incredibly good parents.  Mr. Dyer said this again today.  He said it to me because he asked if I was also a practicing Buddhist and I replied no.  I went on to explain that Tom and I think it is important to support Thomas in this.  There are, in my opinion, many paths to peace and this is Thomas’s.

I don’t know if Thomas will be a practicing Buddhist at 40.  But I do know that the state of his heart and his soul can’t be controlled by what I want.  While I must guide him, sometimes guiding Thomas means guiding him to the place he was already going.

I believe this practice has brought him more peace.  It has made him more compassionate.  It has enabled him to both be loved and love deeper and fuller than he could without it.  And maybe that is exactly what this Baptist world needed, since so many tell me that their faith in Christ has brought them the same thing.

But mostly, I know I won’t ever regret letting him discover his soul and doing so on his own terms.  I just ask that you understand he understand the needs of his soul better than your 9 year old would understand Thomas’s soul.  I will leave you to the same.