Thomas and I are leaving tonight to go back to my (sorta) hometown of South Bend, Indiana for 4 fabulous days and 4 fun filled nights.  Although technically we get in at 11 PM tonight so I am not sure whether we can really count tonight.  We are going to be spending time with my brother, sister in law and most importantly my absolutely adorable nephew who I never see enough because I suck and that makes me sad.

Thomas adores my nephew.  He believes that one of his purposes in life was to guide and love J.  These days a lot of that seems to be toddler wrestling.  I believe this should be encouraged because I do not take J home with me and I find it funny.  It is the benefit of being an Aunt who lives far away and is having no more children that can be corrupted by her brother.  It is a total benefit.  Plus, he is still getting payback for buying a 3 year old the SlimeCano!

We are leaving weather that is still shorts friendly most days of the week and going to a place that had me digging out long sleeves, jeans and wool coats.  I do not enjoy the idea of cold weather that does not include narrow boards that i am attached to via boots and flying downhill in what seems to be something tempting death considering the fact I walk into doors and trip over carpet on a daily basis.  But my brother and his family are there and Indiana is what I consider my home.  I always love going back a little and leave just a little depressed.

Indiana was not exactly a time in my life that was pleasant, but we all whitewash those things and instead remember the good parts. The parts that brought joy and laughter and friends and family together.  And those are the things I remember when I step off my plane.  Those are the things I whisper to my son at night when I come in occasionally to have a late night chat.  They are the parts that make me a Hoosier despite living in Memphis longer than i lived in Indiana and developing an accent.  Despite the fact that I pepper conversations, letters and email with liberal use of ya’ll I am still a girl from small town Indiana.

And I can assure you that my teenage self vowed she would never, ever utter these words, but these days with my Jay, Alicia and J there, with so much of my whitewashed memories of childhood there, of wanting Thomas to experience a colder, smaller bit of my life, I miss Indiana desperately.  I can’t wait to see it tonight as much as I can’t wait to see my brother at the smallest airport I had ever been in (until Quesnel!) and hug him.

I am just a girl from small town Indiana.